The Great Escape


And back to where it all started…

One morning you wake up and say the hell with it–or was it one night before you finally fell asleep? Either way, I experienced that moment. I remember. It was on the 24th of April, 2015. I decided I had had enough. Something had to give and the fast descent I was traveling, that something likely would have been me. Though I do detest myself sometimes, I still love the hell out of me.

I’ve always been a good friend to myself, the kind of friend who tells it like it is. I may not always listen but eventually I concede to the advice. And here was such a time.

Myself said, “you have to get us out of here. I don’t like the looks of this place.”

“But where do we go? This prison is our home, you know that. This is the way it has to be.”

“Who said? Look, I like you but you’re really starting to get on my nerves. Why should I stick around anymore if you’re just gonna give up?”

“It’s not that easy. We can’t just jump up and quit. We have responsibilities. We have a job. That’d be a crazy thing to do.”

“People have done crazier things. Besides I can’t spend another day with you in that apartment. You’re getting to be hard to live with.”

“So it’s like that, huh? Even after all this time.”

“I’m afraid so.”

“You think it could be that easy. We could just load up and leave?”

“See this is what I mean. I’m not suggesting we cross the Atlantic you wuss. I’m saying let’s just go back home, be closer to the kids. That’s what you need, anyhow. That’s what we both really need right now. You for them and them for you.”

“Okay. I’ll go in and give our notice but let me do all the talking. Sometimes you rub people the wrong way is all.”

I’ve digressed. I quit my job and moved back to my native state of Louisiana. I gave my notice on that day and had my stuff packed and ready for the movers by the end of the weekend–aside from a few odds and ends I tied up throughout the week. On May 6th at 7 p.m., I jumped in my car and started my drive straight through, save for a two hour nap at a rest stop somewhere in northern Mississippi. I had a job waiting for me that started on May 11th with a company in an industry I knew nothing about. But hey, it was my ticket out of there.

And like that I quit the only profession I’ve known since I was 21 and gave up the very trade and considerable perks that made my living. And I took a huge pay cut for my troubles. It would be embarrassing for me to divulge the number. Now I stay at a place with some trees and some shade, with a little garden outback and some birds. I’m two hours from my precious children and I get to see them almost whenever I want. I see my family a lot more, too. I’m still adjusting financially. I’m used to having money. Now I’m learning to not spend on things I don’t need. It’s a challenge but I’m getting it. I worked out a way to keep my car because let’s not get carried away, I’m still a creature of some comfort. Besides, I reckon a man such as myself is entitled to a little fruit.

Additionally, I still have the land I purchased earlier in the year. If I need to sell it for some cash, I can. So if there was ever a chapter to be closed, I can assure you I just closed one. I don’t foresee myself writing one quite like that one again. Then, who knows? This job I have now is salary but I don’t see myself in it longterm. Like I said, it was my ticket home, so I snatched it.

I’ll rebuild and get reestablished but first I need to breathe for a while. I need to reflect on my close call and figure out where to go from here. And I need to stop being self absorbed and accept what has become. I’m working on it is all I can say.

On another note, problem with moving back after being gone for so long and having lived in different states and parts of the world is, you don’t quite fit in like you once did. Though I still have a Southern accent, my drawl isn’t as pronounced as it once was. So now folks ask me where I’m from. I have to say, “why, right here, same as you.” Though that’s a little white lie. I actually grew up about 120 miles south of here. It’s not just the accent that separates me. There’s another divide, an existential one. That’s for another time, though.

At any rate, all of this is kind of a big deal for me in light of the events that have transpired over the past year.


40 Years and 40 More

You’re born and 40 years later you stumble out of a bar into a damp dark night and every ache and pain reminds you of all the past lives you lived. But you keep moving because movement is the destination and a new start begins again after the next last thing lost. So you spark up a Camel and the taste is better than ever before and you tell yourself you got 40 more.


  1. I’m not 40 but I can see it from here.
  2. Some of this was plagiarized from a novel I read “Galveston” and I changed it because I liked it.

Forget I Mentioned It


I’ve always thought I’ve done my best thinking when others do it for me. That’s when I’m at my intellectual best. But every now and again, I get an original thought. Just so happens I got one last night. It’s a tired subject, the age of the earth and for that reason, humanity.

Those busy archeologists find artifacts, buildings, and even entire cities, buried beneath rock or hundreds of feet under water. No biggie except that these things are older than the accepted 5000-6000 years idea before man is thought to have gained the knowhow and ability to construct and build cities and monuments.


In 2000-numnummnum, off the Gulf of Combay (off of India) a city was discovered that had no business being there. Another problem: carbon dating placed its construction 12,500 years ago. I suppose the hunters and gatherers got bored, built a city, decided it wasn’t that big of a deal and went back to hunting and gathering. Of course, Indian history and their historic epics said there were great cities south of India, back when its land extended hundreds of miles southward above water. Same with the Incas, Mayans, and the Sphinx told from Egyptian epics. Each told of a preceding civilization, in which from they inherited the monuments and structures.

At any rate, this, along with many other things, challenges the orthodox view when civilization began. The Darwinist’s view is that some things happened, at some point before time began, then life began precisely 4 million years ago 6am next Tuesday, animals and humans emerged extremely slowly from highly improbable accidental causes over a period of time according to laws of probability.


Therefore, the four billion year old earth was determined not by scientific observation or geologic evidence but by estimating how long it should have taken these random events to have occurred given the extreme probability of life having occurred at all through random, material causes. I almost forgot. We all happened in Africa, and we left from there about 100,000 years ago, day after tomorrow. Problem is there is evidence that life was already present everywhere, simultaneously.

Oh well, it’s better not to think of this stuff on your own. Forget I mentioned it.

What The Cabin Means


The old man (I’m not old, but in my mind’s cabin I am) liked to chop firewood for exercise and peace. The rhythm of the axe rose and fell seemingly at its own pace, with little effort but lots of joy. The moist, rich smell of oak and hickory filled the air. The sound of work did not bother the wildlife. Birds chirped and sang and squirrels chattered. He admonished his hounds for giving them chase–his lions he called them: Caesar, Cleopatra and Patton.

His aging profile is noticed in the lines on his forehead. His hairline is receded now but the admixture of Celtic and Saxon blood is undeniable in his features despite the passage of time–A regular Child of God, he reminded himself. He’s thin, still broad, but slightly hunched forward at the shoulders.

The gentle sounds of nature around the cabin were like Beethoven for the destitute. It was nature that played maestro to his all his thoughts and every activity. He rose early each day to review the day’s schedule over cups of steaming coffee. The matters mostly involved fighting back the weeds and vines and birch that threatened to invade his peaceful oasis in the woods. The task was unending but in them he found for each day of his life reason, calmness, and progress. Fighting for civilization, he mused, by undoing nature’s painstaking labor.

In the afternoon, after lunch and a midday nap or a book, he tended to his vegetable garden and five fruit trees. If the heat was not too much, he sat and marveled at what he created in the midst of wilderness. He would walk down to the bank of the creek and sit in the shade. He’d count the wood ducks and the bass and catfish or playfully throw acorns at the soft-shell turtles as they emerged from beneath the surface for air.

The water passed by at the same pace of his life. He was deeply and utterly and completely content. Even free he’d boast, if he were in an arrogant mood.

Winter days were equally rustic and simple. He would carry in carefully cut firewood to the fireplace and escape the cold with a book and a glass of scotch. The light from the crackling heat provided warmth and light to soothe and assist his reading while reclined in his easy chair. He wrote once during one of these nights, “Here I have not only silence but complete peace. Sometimes it is so quiet I can overhear my mind and heart. The wisdom these two share.”

Inside his cabin was a sanctuary. Before entering, he left his boots at the doorstep. He expected those who visited to do the same. His home was a modest, two story, two bedroom affair. He hired laborers from nearby and helped build it, too. On the ground floor was an open layout: living room, guest bedroom, dining room, kitchen, and bathroom and off to the side near the staircase was his reading area and library, which was closest to the fireplace.

Reading was a passion and he had finally developed a taste and discipline for the classics. In the place of large meals were simple hearty stews, salads and the vegetables from his garden and the fruit from his fruit trees.

Ascending the staircase, one passed his book-lined study. On the upper floor were the master bedroom and a fully furnished loft that opened to a balcony facing east. There in the early morning, he would talk to God, created to creator—the details of which are forever unknown.

The cabin stood in surrounded woods hugging the nearby creek. It was remote from the nearest road and invisible from the nearest highway. Although he kept to himself most of his days, he was friendly, agreeable, and never turned down strangers.

He told his son one evening, now a young lawyer, who stressed to him about the lack of time and opportunity that, “One does not have time, son. One makes time. The same goes with opportunity.” (The son forgot this nugget of wisdom. Years later when he realized it for himself but was too old to do anything with it and forgot that it was ever told to him to start with, could do nothing but share it with his son and hope for a different outcome).

His son would help him from time to time with the sawing, clearing and piling. Each claimed for themselves something basic from the land and something basic from each other. At night around a fire or on the balcony looking up at the stars, they would smoke cigars and sip scotch. He asked his son to share with him about his aspirations, about life in general. They called this council the “God and the Stars Discussions.”

The man told his son that satisfaction would take him further than any good favor in life. He explained, “Consider morality, ethics, economics, politics, each passing year and compare it to your own level of satisfaction. Then you are forced to compare your own happiness against the world and decide for yourself who’s doing better. However, one must be willing to retreat, tactically, of course, within his own interior lines and be willing to leave behind dead weight that just yesterday was precious and invaluable.”

His son tried, underneath those stars, to follow along in his father’s wisdom but admitted that with his whole life in front of him, the thought of retreat and living in a cabin was obnoxious. The father calmly and reassuringly said that it’s good to grow old because it allows a person to change gradually, “It’s easier to smile, it’s easier to cry and forget the things that once set our minds on fire. The more one relaxes and sees life in all its simplicities, as opposed to its impossibilities, the more things that seemed important recede. Yet, one does not retire in this simplicity because there is always something to do! Physically and mentally one finds tasks that can be measured and their completion noticed.”

The son pressed for more clarification. Finally the father revealed all that he had learned in life was abundantly within and around the cabin. In which was thus, “Find so much satisfaction in your life and days and works that all of them are more a pleasure than a chore.”

A.H. Wants You To Drink Some Scotch


Not just any ol’ kind of scotch but some really good stuff. It’s called Talisker and I approve of its quality and I recommend it for you and everyone you know. Just promise to drink responsibly and if we ever meet, I hope you offer me a glass of it over rocks.

Together with Lagavulin, Talisker represented a heavier side of the single  malt spectrum. Their barley (which is malted at Glen Ord) isn’t as peaty as Lagavulin’s (the Talisker ‘recipe’ requires a peating level of +/- 22 PPM) but
the whisky still makes a strong impression on most novices in the world of  single malt Scotch. This was especially true in the 1990’s when Islay malts like Ardbeg and Caol Ila were not available as proper single malt ‘brands’.

Got to this site and read a little about it’s brewing and craft and see if it is something you’d like to try.

Deep and stormy like the ocean crashing over the rocky shores of its island distillery, Talisker is the only Single Malt Scotch Whisky rugged enough to call the Isle of Skye its home.


Open House At The Mind’s Cabin


I’ve been thinking about the nature of this blog. Certainly I love writing about absolutely nothing, then turning that nothingness into something meaningful. It’s an exercise of the mind and spirit and I find it relaxing, even healthy. I love sharing stories and heaven knows I got a lot of them. Now don’t go feeling bad about yourself just because I just went off bragging there about how I have more stories than you. I was born and raised in the rural south and that’s just the way it is. We tell stories and when we don’t have one, we just make one up or take someone else’s and tell it as our own. All of which is perfectly acceptable among friends and strangers.

Hey, wait a minute. I bet that’s not true. I bet there are plenty of stories out there and I bet you’d like to share them. I love meeting people and hearing about their past, their lives, and generally get a sense of who they are. I tell you, I wish I wrote down the name of every person I met who shared a little something about themselves to me. Ever heard of someone who has never met a stranger in their life? That’s me, I’m that guy.

So I’ve thought recently of opening up my site to others. There’s one hundred people who follow this blog and for what reason, I still don’t know. So that’s one hundred people who might like to share something about themselves. I know I’d be interested.

Tell me anything. Tell me something troubling. Tell me something happy. If you don’t’ have nothing to say, tell me about that, too.

If perhaps you are interested, leave me a comment or email me at and we’ll work out the details in private.

Ever Met A Ghost From Your Past?


I’m about to share with you a story. It’s not about me but about someone else. It’s about two lives intersecting for less than a minute under the most dramatic circumstances imaginable. I understand that’s quite the lead in so let me tell it to you the way it was told to me.

My grandpaw and maw-maw were traveling through Texas sometime back in the 1980s. If I remember the details of the story, the town was called Sweet Water. They were in their RV and stopped at a gas station. My grandmother sat behind in the RV,  likely enjoying the air conditioner, while my grandfather went in to pay. When he returned, he sat there speechless. My grandmother noticed the look on his face, her exact words, “Honey, what is wrong with you? Are you sick? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.” To which my grandfather replied that he had in fact.

My grandmother now confused asked him what he was talking about. My grandfather explained, “There’s a man in that store. I’m certain I saved his life back in ’45.”

“H__, ’45? What are you talking about?”

He told her, “Just outside of Bastogne in 1945. That’s him, I remember.”

Pawpaw was referring to the Battle of the Bulge. He was in Patton’s Third Army that marched in dead of winter, traveling more than 100 wintery miles to relieve the 101 Airborne Division in the Belgian town of Bastogne.

Pawpaw had seen his share of bodies pulverized by tanks, Germans and Americans, while marching across France into Germany. This trip was turning out no different than any of the rest. However, this time after spotting a body sprawled in the middle of the road, he decided then and there to see one less pulverized body. He grabbed the dead soldier under the arms and dragged him into a ditch out of the way of the tanks there were rumbling up behind.

For whatever reason, he studied his face and got a good luck at him. Probably out of pity, I assume. Then again, maybe it was for another reason he couldn’t explain. The moment was brief, as there was more fighting and dying ahead.

Fast forward 40 years later and here this man stood in the same gas station as my grandfather in Sweet Water, Texas. He told this, just as I have told you, to my grandmother sitting there in that RV in the parking lot of a gas station. Mawmaw implored him to go back in there and see if that was him. He was unsure and felt too bashful to try. Forty years is a long time to pass to be sure about much of anything, much less about a boy you think you remember pulling off a Belgium road.

The man by now was walking out of the store and grand paw’s curiosity got the best of him. He got out of his RV and introduced himself. Grandpaw swore that the man had a certain instant familiarity toward him, even an affection almost immediately after looking him in the eyes. My grandpaw asked him if was in the army back in WWII.

“Yes, I was.”

“Were you shot outside of Bastogne in 1945?”

“Yes. How did you know?”

“Because I apparently saved your life. I pulled you off that road and placed you in a ditch.”

The man dropped what he had in his hands, grabbed my grandfather and sobbed in his chest. “I knew it was you when I saw you,” he told him. He’d always known someone had pulled him off that road. He just never knew who.

My grandfather replied, “So did I.”

He insisted that he come and meet his family, his home being just a few miles away.

The story goes on a few more years. The man’s wife secretly invited my grandfather and grandmother to a family reunion a few years later. And the scene was just as dramatic. The man’s kids and grandkids were present this time, you see. So when he saw my grandfather standing there in his yard just a few years later, he dropped a case of beer he was carrying and ran to my grandfather and cried again just as he did the first time. He took him around to each and every family member there and paraded my grandfather around as if he were a legendary knight, a hero from some storied era in the past.

Grandpaw outlived the man by a few years, but the man’s wife and kids came to my grandfather’s funeral.

A debt and honor returned.

And How Would You Know?


I came across this site [] which allows you to compose an email and have it delivered to your future self at a date you determine. Being a natural risk taker, I bit.

Before I did, I poked around and read some of the public emails members shared to their futureselves. I wasn’t too impressed.

Turns out most people think they know what’s best for themselves years down the road despite not having one piece of information on the claim and knowing next to nothing about their futureself they lecture. I mean the nerve of some folks.
I found it all arrogant and disrespectful to an elder and rude behavior toward strangers, which is what our futureselves are. It’s best to stay out of peoples business you know nothing about. Then, I’m funny like that.

Wish they had one where the futureself could email the presentself. Now that’d be useful.

At any rate, I fired off an email to my futureself to be delivered in a couple of years. I didn’t lecture my futureself, the last thing my futureself wants is some snot nose kid telling him what’s what in the world.