Boy oh boy, have I had an exciting day. It snowed a little last night and stayed below freezing all through the morning, which meant there was ice on the road, which means that is when the worst drivers decide this is the day when they will make it to work free of incident, which means that guarantees an incident, actually three of them, which backed up every lane of the highway, which consists of three.
Do you know what I did? I hit the first exit and circled back around to my house. I ain’t messing with that crap. The heck with it. I came home, drank some coffee, went downstairs to my gym, and got in an early morning workout. After I covered myself in sweat, I quit and took a shower.
Here’s where the actual fun begins.
First, I went down to the boxing gym where I got knocked out last week. I told everyone in there, even the coaches, that they didn’t run me off just because I got a little bump on the head. I told them that I wasn’t that easy to run off. That I had been working and correcting my mistakes. I’d be back.
A man has to save face even if he doesn’t mean it!
After my declaration and threats to all who were in there, I trekked down to Barnes & Noble and picked up a couple of beauties. “The Alchemist” and the “Count of Monte Cristo.” In addition, I bought a couple of “How To” books on writing and creative writing.
I don’t know. I’m actually enjoying this writing thing. I like to tell stories. I come from a great story telling culture — that being the rural South. Everyone there has a story. It may not be told exactly the same each time, it may even be borrowed from someone else, but that practice is accepted so long as one can make it entertaining and memorable. Maybe I can get focused enough to put a few stories down.
I used to be so dull — when I say “used to be” I’m speaking all of about a month ago — in that I never considered there was any value to literature or fiction. If you saw my library you would wonder if I had an imagination or personality at all. But you sure as hell wouldn’t want to tangle with me in a game of trivia!
At any rate, about literature, I thought, if it is not true, “Why bother?” I’m learning fiction is very true despite what it says about itself. I can see clearly now that writers bleed when they write. I respect them.
So anyway, I stepped out of Barnes & Noble and made my way over to Total Wine. Here’s what I did.
I demanded a 5-minute course on how to choose wine. I told the lady there that I was tired of being the dumb kid in class.
I started by, “Look, I like wine. The red kind. Made from grapes, not tobacco, spice, roots, yams, or whatever else is crammed in the bottle and corked just because it happens to grow. So let me explain to you my taste.”
Which I did.
She looked confused. Her response was, “Okay. So you like wine. The Red kind. Made from grapes.”
She took my angry discharge well. I believe she even had sympathy for me. She wrote me down a few rules to follow and wrote down a few grapes I would probably like. The cheat-sheet is in my wallet. She had wonderful handwriting.
We both decided I like cabernet and pinot wines. There, I’m satisfied with that. Corner me; color me even. Label me all you like. But I can now make a beeline to my section, grab my bottles, be at home and uncorked faster than you can figure out how long a wine should be *aeratored.
*Okay, in all honesty I just learned about that today. It was part of the 5-minute course. I just really wanted to work that part in there.